Work goggles. Similar phenomenon to the commonly suffered ‘beer googles’, work goggles appear after prolonged interaction in the workplace. They can be cultivated after weeks, months or years with a colleague. A human who, under normal circumstances might repel or repulse you, suddenly becomes the apple of your eye. The reason to get out of bed and schlep into the office with more than some BB cream and a slick of mascara.
Sure, it’s nice to have a reason to go to those dreary lunch meetings and firm mingling dos’. But don’t be fooled. Chances are you wouldn’t accept a drink from this person in a bar, however end up pashing them on the dance floor at 2 am after a few too many pink lemonades.
My major concern with work goggles is how widespread the condition is. Some ridiculous figure like, 80% (by no means an actual estimate) of people meet their partners at work. So I’m not the only one falling prey.
A gorgeous friend the other day divulged she had developed a crush on a certain young gentleman at her work place. Now, I should add he has an equally Zeus – like boyfriend of 5 years so it’s not like she needs the attention or eye candy. However after a couple of wines, she divulged the identity of her crush. We managed a Facebook stalk (you’re kidding yourself if you don’t think that’s what it’s for), and lo and behold he wasn’t attractive in the slightest. She swore black and blue (and Pinot and Grigio) that it was his personality that brought on her fits of childish flirting everyday. I diagnosed her straight away: work googles.
Not that I’m immune. You may have caught some of my previous rantings about a certain gentleman who I work with. Hardly surprising, but I was repulsed by him in he beginning. Attraction grew by attrition: he just simply wore me down. Day after day after day of seeing him in the lift, the lobby, the kitchen… You can’t escape it and the next thing you know, you’re hooked.
I’m starting to think contestants on the hugely popular reality show ‘The Bachelor’ might be suffering from a mutant strand of the disease, not dislike Stockholm Syndrome. I mean don’t get me wrong, Tim the Chiropractor is gorgeous but his personality evident on the show is on par with that contained in my large left toe. There are hordes of women swooning over him, and last night I even gagged a little as Ali declared, via video message, that she loved him. Loved him, loved him, loved him. (Spoiler alert: she got booted. Too fast, too soon, too creepy sweetheart).
When you have constant, forced, inescapable contact with a person day in, day out, chances are you’ll grow to find their repulsive traits irresistible. It’s inevitable.
Next time you’re crushing on a colleague (or considering entering a reality show where ‘love’ is the only prize), pause and think: are you a victim of work goggles? The only cure is to quit.