“Is it amnesia? Amamaemonesia” – Chairlfit, Amamaemonesia

I recently had the (ahem) pleasure of running, literally, into an ex lover twice in one day. Both encounters were uncannily cheery: as though there was no love lost between us. Or never any love at all. What was the scariest part about it was that it was not an unusual scenario for me. I have managed to remain ‘friends’ , or for the large part amicable, with every lover I’ve taken. Quite seriously, a long term boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is one of my closest confidantes. We catch up every 2 months or so and speak fortnightly on the blower. There has never been a relapse on the sexual front, and pretty much every major life decision gets run past him first.

Which got me thinking. Either I am the most forgiving person on the planet (move over Dalai Lama) or I have a serious case of relationship amnesia.

Bryan Adams might have implored his lovely lady friend to please forgive me: and it seems I do just that. I’m not trying to contend that I’m some sort of saint, rather I think I’m just lazy. Isn’t it easier to forgive and forget than to harbour the hate?

I have taken back a boyfriend after cheating.

I saw the same scoundrel for a year despite many a public and drunken bust-up.

I have gone back to an ex after a long hiatus (and a lot of I-hate-us).

Yet still, if I ran into any of these men in the street, I wouldn’t hesitate to be genuinely friendly. I’m by no means a doormat, I just think I might have a very selective memory of the things people do to me. Especially the shitty things.

An ex has a very black and white view of his relationships with others. His good opinion once lost, is lost forever. His own mother even crossed the threshold. Harsh? You bet. But effective in sorting the wheat from the chaff? Correct.

Short of making a list of all the crap things people do to me and reminding myself of that daily, I really don’t think there is a cure for my relationship amnesia. As JET strum, it’s such a waste to always look behind you, you should be looking straight ahead. Yeah, I, gonna have to move on, before we meet again. I think they were onto something.